Sunday, September 5, 2010


Once upon a time I was inspired by a footballer, Steven Gerrard, by his never-say-die attitude. I could still recall the 2005 UEFA Champions League moment, where Gerrard inspired Liverpool to win against AC-Milan from 3-0 down to 3-3 and sealed the win with Jerzy Dudek's penalty save from Shevcenko.

Ah..the memory it brings.

I remembered a day when a motivator came to my college and asked me, who was my idol, and I told him Steven Gerrard. I idolised Steven Gerrard. He inspired me to become what I am today. (Somehow).

As time goes on..I found a new hobby, photography, ever since I bought my first bridge camera, a Canon S5IS, which I sold to purchase myself a second-hand Nikon D40x dslr camera. Photography inspires me to see things differently. To appreciate nature. Appreciate life. Appreciate your friends and even family. I see photography as my only inspiration at the moment because that's the only way I could express myself.

What about Steven Gerrard? I don't give a damn about football at the moment unless those two bloody Americans owners of Liverpool die.

There's a quote saying that you live not to impress, but to inspire. I really wish I could inspire people. But how? I'm not really sure of that, but I hope someday I could.

I want that feeling. When you see somebody who is down and you lift them up and give them hope. Should I be a motivator then? Nah..I guess not.

Sometimes I cry to myself thinking how empty and alone my life is. Is it worth it? To be honest, I always say to myself that when you're thinking of giving up, think of your parents- how high there were hoping that someday you succeed and be a better man.

I once thought that I'm weak. When I was still a kid, I was bullied, but I'd fight back although I end up bruised. I didn't care. Atleast I tried. Atleast I punched the bully by his face. Atleast he knows that I've got balls. Not pussies.

The best things in life are worth waiting for. What am I waiting for, really?


I wished that I would wait, but love causes so much pain. I don't think that I would be able to endeavor love again. Reading and watching love stories are one of those things that I usually do, when I have the time. But now it seems to be the other way around.

I'd rather be alone and let emptiness fulfill me. Why is that?

Why am I being emotional all the sudden?

 I couldn't figure out myself either..


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